And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We are all done wearing pants today
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
