oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
