This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize