Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
