can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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