at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
