Just cropdusted the office
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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