listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
