so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
