AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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