also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
