Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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