Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
