he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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