I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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