We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
