my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
