KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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