You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
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