its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
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Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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