Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
