Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point