Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.

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(210): View more from Texas

I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.

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(+27): View more from South Africa

My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(586): View more from Michigan

She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers

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(302): View more from Delaware

She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.

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(520): View more from Arizona

He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".

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(425): View more from Washington

Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.

(253): View more from Washington

You're lovely.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.

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