Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.

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  (773): I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you. http://tfl.nu/kzww
  Replies (25) Good night (1169) Bad night (3076)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  ugly people sure do ruin things

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  (214): ugly people sure do ruin things http://tfl.nu/4ggc
  Replies (33) Good night (1201) Bad night (3383)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  didn't stop?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  naw, they were rude, not me.

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  (773): My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family. (1-773): didn't stop? (773): naw, they were rude, not me. http://tfl.nu/wggq
  Replies (32) Good night (11939) Bad night (976)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.

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  (502): She never called back. Financed a fleshlight. http://tfl.nu/uvos
  Replies (13) Good night (862) Bad night (3384)
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  (914): View more from New York

  i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros

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  (914): i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros http://tfl.nu/6mrs
  Replies (8) Good night (5124) Bad night (990)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone

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  (480): i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone http://tfl.nu/s959
  Replies (12) Good night (6560) Bad night (1691)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.

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  (717): It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me. http://tfl.nu/ym25
  Replies (9) Good night (1009) Bad night (1315)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.

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  (203): Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it. http://tfl.nu/pgje
  Replies (10) Good night (1355) Bad night (725)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  You dont lie about slip and slides

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  (502): You dont lie about slip and slides http://tfl.nu/1239
  Replies (9) Good night (1803) Bad night (627)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Strong work

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  (479): We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair (501): Strong work http://tfl.nu/wibt
  Replies (1) Good night (1536) Bad night (543)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..

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  (206): She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out.. http://tfl.nu/vlup
  Replies (3) Good night (685) Bad night (635)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.

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  (218): We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened. http://tfl.nu/ouo9
  Replies (4) Good night (1233) Bad night (372)
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  (716): View more from New York

  We found Mulan.

  (409): View more from Texas

  I thought you were in bed what the hell

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  (716): We found Mulan. (409): I thought you were in bed what the hell http://tfl.nu/ar2j
  Replies (3) Good night (886) Bad night (361)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack

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  (602): Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack http://tfl.nu/paaa
  Replies (3) Good night (472) Bad night (542)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted

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  (734): he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted http://tfl.nu/3ywr
  Replies (2) Good night (188) Bad night (518)

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