He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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