omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
