My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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