i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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