I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize