i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
