Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
