I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
