hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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