No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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