i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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