i just had sex bonerless
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
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I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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