i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
