Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
porn star boner night. come get it.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
