you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
