she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
