4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
