You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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