i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i believe in u and ur pee
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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