Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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