it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
