No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
