Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
