$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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