that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
They have beer where we have blood.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
