Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
