I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She announced her abortion via fbk
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
