I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
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Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
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Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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