I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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