Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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