I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
