Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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