just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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