Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Sorry my hands just texted you
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
