i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
