i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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