i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
honey bunches of taint.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
