someone get that fucking seahorse.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
