I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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