a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize