Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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