i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
