He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?