Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?