Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT