I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
i think i just lost a toe
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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