I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
