Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
did you just send me my own nude
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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