His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
